Everlasting Glow

I’m not quite sure of what to do now

It seems as if things in my life

have been shuffled around

You said,

“Lay down my burdens, give them to you”

I promise Lord, I’m trying to!

You give me safety in your name

and protection under your Authority

I only feel scared when I go off and stray,

It’s never You who walks away

I’m sorry God forgive me now

Without your love,

I’m on bottom ground

I know it will be better if I just let go

I want to feel again,

Your everlasting glow!

As I sit here,

There’s no more strength left for tears.

I need to figure out, the journey for the remainder of my years.

I realize you haven’t given me a spirit of fear

I need you now, Lord!

When I don’t quite know what to do or say,

You send miracles soaring to brighten my day!

Show up,

Show out and have your way!

I trust You Lord,

Today, in every way!

© 2012 Author BoSweets

Excerpt from:

Victory In The Midst

Author BoSweets

Twenty Seven Treatments as of Today

Chapter ?

I arrived at the cancer treatment center today and it was so hard to come out of the dressing room. As I undressed, I cried saying to myself, “I don’t want to do this no more! “

I stood there a few minutes crying, looking at the burns that are already on my breast. After a few minutes of this I thought, Oh Goodness if I don’t come out soon the Techs will probably come back here. “Oh God please help me get myself together”!

Okay Bo, this is treatment number 27; you have a total of 33 and it’s almost over.

You can do it girl…. I’m standing in the mirror trying to pump myself up to go out the door and I’m actually speaking out loud.

I opened the door and there she was. Hi, how are you today? The tech Brenda said.

I immediately put my head down and told her it isn’t really a good day for me. (I can’t stand for people to see me cry but today they were going to see it.)

Brenda was very comforting and said its okay sweetie, it’s almost over, and you’ve completed more than half.

I know, I told her. But it’s just so hard to come here day after day and look at my breast! It’s burned and my nipple is raw. I hurt so badly. The doctor is telling me to take ibuprofen for the pain and it’s not enough. I don’t know who told them cancer don’t hurt.

I shouldn’t have to be this uncomfortable going through this; I cried.

She said okay lay down here and let me take a look. Oh my I see, yes you are taking a beating. Okay you get to see the doctor today and maybe he can give you something to help.

Okay I said in between sniffles.

So the techs go on to prepare me for my radiation.

Tugging a little on the left at my hips and then on the right at my shoulders, lining me up just so to match with the markers.

Okay sweetie here comes your treatment.

I was still so upset that I forgot I have to lie here perfectly still. Thank God they have those cameras and microphone on to observe me.

The door opens and Brenda came in and said, “Just let those tears roll honey”. Try not to move okay. We can take care of them when we’re done.

Oh I’m so sorry, I said. I forgot I have to be still. Its okay she said. Here we go; she said walking out the room again with the door shutting behind her.

©2011 BoSweets