Excerpt from:

Victory In The Midst

Author BoSweets

Twenty Seven Treatments as of Today

Chapter ?

I arrived at the cancer treatment center today and it was so hard to come out of the dressing room. As I undressed, I cried saying to myself, “I don’t want to do this no more! “

I stood there a few minutes crying, looking at the burns that are already on my breast. After a few minutes of this I thought, Oh Goodness if I don’t come out soon the Techs will probably come back here. “Oh God please help me get myself together”!

Okay Bo, this is treatment number 27; you have a total of 33 and it’s almost over.

You can do it girl…. I’m standing in the mirror trying to pump myself up to go out the door and I’m actually speaking out loud.

I opened the door and there she was. Hi, how are you today? The tech Brenda said.

I immediately put my head down and told her it isn’t really a good day for me. (I can’t stand for people to see me cry but today they were going to see it.)

Brenda was very comforting and said its okay sweetie, it’s almost over, and you’ve completed more than half.

I know, I told her. But it’s just so hard to come here day after day and look at my breast! It’s burned and my nipple is raw. I hurt so badly. The doctor is telling me to take ibuprofen for the pain and it’s not enough. I don’t know who told them cancer don’t hurt.

I shouldn’t have to be this uncomfortable going through this; I cried.

She said okay lay down here and let me take a look. Oh my I see, yes you are taking a beating. Okay you get to see the doctor today and maybe he can give you something to help.

Okay I said in between sniffles.

So the techs go on to prepare me for my radiation.

Tugging a little on the left at my hips and then on the right at my shoulders, lining me up just so to match with the markers.

Okay sweetie here comes your treatment.

I was still so upset that I forgot I have to lie here perfectly still. Thank God they have those cameras and microphone on to observe me.

The door opens and Brenda came in and said, “Just let those tears roll honey”. Try not to move okay. We can take care of them when we’re done.

Oh I’m so sorry, I said. I forgot I have to be still. Its okay she said. Here we go; she said walking out the room again with the door shutting behind her.

©2011 BoSweets

Today I stand here facing the biggest test of my life.

You see I have this man who wants to make me his wife.

The problem is I need him now!

The pressure is so intense

I have sweat on my brow.

He’s unable to come.

So what am I expected to do,

twiddle my thumbs?

I need support like never before

someone to help me through this part of life’s door.

I have to move on there’s no way I can get through this by myself.

I love him so much,

I don’t want there to be no one else!

He says he wants to be there in sickness and in heath,

But for now I must move out of the way so he can obtain his wealth.

Today I stand here unsure of the reason for my season,

but God hasn’t left me to go through this alone.

Things are being moved and rearranged,

so He can set the tone.

He’s made provisions and placed an Angel directly in my path,

I just need to add it all up and do the math.

Today I Stand Here

©2010 BoSweets

One Tender Moment

One tender moment,

You are kissing at the base of my neck.

One hand holding my hair,

The other at the small of my back!

Perhaps I’ll just sit on your lap

Or lie next to you, and take a nap.

One more tender moment that’s all I need,

To caress my baby and rub on your chest!

Sit wrapped in your arms and know I’m blessed.

Maybe massage your temples

Til’ you smile and I see those dimples.

One more tender moment to whisper in your ear

Ooh baby, I’m glad you’re here!

I Must Let Go of You

I don’t need your money or your Cadillac Seville.

I need a man who can take care of me like Jack took care of Jill.

I need your friendship, understanding, respect and support.

Oh and a little bit of love would stop the divorce.

So many days go by and I feel like my heart is going to burst,

My eyes overflow with tears and my knees feel reversed!

All day long I fight with all my might to hold back the tears,

By the end of the day, when I turn my key to step inside

Tears flow like a river.

He says I will, and you said I do

Only thing, you failed to follow through,

Today, I must let go of you.

You say you wonder what punishment God has in store

For you breaking my heart;

Well as painful as it is,

I pray that He will protect and guide you,

One day show you true love and happiness.

I pray that you will let down your guard and love completely

And allow yourself to be loved.

I’d like to think we both gave it our best

And it just wasn’t good enough and that’s ok.

You failed to follow through,

Today I must let go of you.

© 2009 BoSweets

Crossroads

I’m at a crossroads in my life.

Hey, are you going my way?

Don’t let my struggles with life chase you away

I just want your heart, mind, body and maybe your soul.

Together we can travel down this road.

Material things you don’t have to buy;

Just promise you’ll be there in the event that I cry.

Hold me, console me, if need be mold me.

With you is where I want to be.

The road I just left humm.. confusion to me.

Should I gamble my heart to thee?

Crossroads..

Are you going my way!

© 2009 BoSweets

Author of, "Secrets of The Soul, Shattered Pieces Made Whole"

BoSweets~ Published Author & Poet